The cool breeze of his breath on her damp neck sent a shiver up her spine. The tremor was more anticipation than discomfort. It was cool but not uncomfortable as he exhaled where he had just kissed.
“Mmmmmnnn.” Sarah moaned as Ruthven’s hands ran down her back, pressing in the small of it, pushing her closer to him. As they reached her hips his fingers reached the elastic of her panties she felt his fingers continue along her skin down the slim curve of her slight buttock.
Oh no…
But she let him continue. It felt good. God it felt good. No matter how much her father had angered her with the implication that she would never have the opportunity for physical love, the fact remained that she too had had serious doubts. To be laying here with Ruthven, one piece of clothing away from being naked with a boy for the first time was something that she had had never truly expected to be part of the patchwork of her life experience.
But Ruthven really likes me. That is what is most important. He likes me pale and skinny. Who am I to question that?
That she would have to stop him from going any further very, very soon was beginning to upset her mood. The anxiety raced.
God, to be able to just forge onwards. I wish we could. God I wish we could. Why can’t I be like other girls? What will he think? Stopping him – hell, telling him the truth – could be all it takes. He’ll never want to touch me again. This may be the only time I’m ever naked with a boy.
It’s okay, Sarah . Just let him go as long as you can. Make it last…
The panties curled up as Ruthven pulled them past her hips. He kissed her stomach as the cool air tickled her private area. He pulled them to her knees, and she told herself that that was all that mattered, she was for all practical purposes naked with a boy.
He kissed her navel and then just below.
Oh God. He’s moving too fast. I’m going to have to stop him… soon.
She grabbed his head. Tried to casually hold him close and slow him down, prolong the moment.
It didn’t work. Ruthven had set a goal and a pace and nothing was stopping his inexorable momentum towards her virgin lips.
She was wet, she could feel. Very worked up. She so wanted to let him continue, but she couldn’t.
That would be too irresponsible. I couldn’t live with myself.
The realities of her situation had been pounded in since she was a child. She took them for granted, but the call of her uncharted territory was putting all of that to the test.
His tongue found her hair and began weaving its way down…
“Wait…” She said.
He kept going. She could feel his breath against her wetness…
“Wait!” She sat up and pulled her hips away from his head just as he was about to make the plunge.
“You have to stop. I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I…”
“It’s okay. Look, everything is okay.”
“No. No it isn’t. There’s something I have to tell you.”
“I already guessed you’re still a virgin, if that’s what it is. I’ll be gentle. We can slow down a bit.”
“Ruthven… please don’t hate me.”
“I like you. I’m not going to hate you.”
“You will.”
“No.”
“Look, it’s not that I’m a virgin. I am. And, God… I want to fuck you like you can’t imagine.”
“I imagine it’s going to be really great.”
“No. It’s not. We can’t.”
“What’s up?”
“You’re going to hate me.”
“I just said I’m not going to hate you. What is it?”
“I’m sick. I don’t want to make you sick too.”
“Right. ‘Cause you’ve got an STD or something.”
“Exactly.”
“But you’re a virgin.”
“Ruthven, my Mother got a bad blood transfusion when she was pregnant with me. It’s how she died. It’s how I’m going to die. We both contracted an infectious blood disease. I don’t want to transmit it to you.”
Chapter 7
Chapter 7
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